Friends-An enigma

Something I had written more than 2 years ago...nothing much has changed...I believe


I was planning to have a very interesting post that would set the tone for my blog.But then,its important that I start with a few thoughts on something more serious.Friends teach you more than any other book/experience can on humans and their intentions.Well,why not look at this basic human relationship .
As anyone in their twenties,even I have had my fair share of friends in the last couple of decades.Its been an interesting journey from Kindergarten to college and post graduation and finally,in professional life.I have come across all varieties of this species called friends.
My first contact with this species was in the form of this kid with whom I played Hide and Seek in my locality.He was one of those strong and chubby children you see more and more often these days.Back then,they were a rare breed.At least I feel so.This kid was real fun to play with until I came to know of his special interest in violence.One fine day with no provocation,he pushed me to the ground and cracked open my forehead.I being a firm believer in non violence,did not make an issue out of it and walked home almost 100 metres with blood dripping on my shirt and not even a tear .I love to think that I wanted to run back home and have a look in the mirror..to see myself as one of those actors you see in the bolly wood movies.I was six years old then and believe me,the incident left a lasting impression on me ...literally,... i still carry that mark on my overhead .Some of my close friends stand testimony to the fact I am very particular about the people I befriend to this day.Poor guys,have gone through a lot for me...........they never knew why.........
Next come friends you meet in ur primary school.People whom you meet every day,in every class....play together in the games period and yes, share your tiffins.I must say my friends always had delicacies in their tiffin boxes which they never seemed to value.I was also not that different.None of us ate our own tiffins.As soon as the recess started,tiffins were exchanged.It was one of our biggest secrets ..poor Moms who packed nutritious food for their dear child.No wonder parents always kept on wondering why kids don't like certain dishes at dinner...I always had a good excuse....I already had the same thing for lunch.......Then you have kids who become friends,because our parents get along well..I have had my fair share of such friends.I have good and bad memories of them.
Next come your sibling's friends.You have no choice as they hang around your house for most of the time.You have no choice than to accept them.These friends always love to take care of you.Thye would take you in their teams while playing when your very own family would think twice before doing something similar.As one goes through school and reach junior college,one realises that friends and acquaintances are different.Not every classmate is a friend and vice versa.But then,one is actually too young and busy to distinguish between people who are nice to you and those are who are not behind your backs.
As one enters college,especially if one is staying away from home, friends take a new meaning all together. Staying away from home adds an entirely new dimension to the concept of friendship.Spending your entire time with the same set of people ,be it in class and thereafter in the hostel,provides you an opportunity to know each other like none other.But then you also carry the risk of knowing a person so closely that you start to dislike some of their idiosyncrasies.The challenge than becomes to weed out some of your apprehensions and try to maintain focus in your friendships.I can assure my friends,its a very tough process.Some times your apprehensions are proved correct in due course.But then in a few cases,for your true friends,you would be able to see through the fallacies in your arguments against them.No one will be exactly same as you or what you expect in a friend.As some intelligent man said,"Balance is one of the most important concepts that science has never dare research". Its this fine balance that is the hallmark for lasting friendships,a balance that can be disturbed if enough efforts are not put by both the actors.Life in hostels somehow convinced me about the importance and criticality of knowing a person and witnessing their behaviour which give you enough hints about their personality before becoming close friends.
I had someone in my college who married someone she met on the internet.That was almost five years ago, when there was no Google talk,orkut,,,,,,just he good old MSN and Yahoo Chat.I always wondered how one could take such a crucial decision as I would shave second thoughts about having close friends whom I have not met.But life throws up new challenges that question your strongest beliefs.Now, I have close friends whom I have not actually met or met very few times .I had somehow reconciled myself to the fact that you can become good friends even without having spent that much time in person.But then,one has to understand that friendship is always a two way street. As I realized recently,unless the feeling is mutual,one cant help ending up as complete strangers even after spending quality time on the wire-lines.Best part is that the definition of 'Stranger' can be redefined by any of the parties at any time in the friendship.Also,you can't deny the fact that nothing can replace the good old personal touch of meeting for a coffee.......You can pick up so many cues from just observing a person.................
The Last paragraph is contradictory..but then isn't life full of such contradictions.Its the ability to be at peace with yourself in the face of such contradictions that makes it all the more challenging .......
Well,its been a long journey....When I look back,I am quite content with the fact that I have found my best friends at each stage of the journey-school,college and post graduation.What is store for in the future is anyone's guess!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!